The very definition of disappointment is the non-fulfillment of expectation, and so there is a clear relationship between these two. Disappointment can only come from expectation. And it's often said that if you have no expectations you'll have no disappointments. But expectation seems to arise spontaneously, and often even subconsciously, which is to say that … Continue reading Expectation Leads to Disappointment
There's often an emphasis on loving oneself, but some people wonder, "Isn't loving yourself narcissistic?" You may have heard that you can't genuinely love another unless you first love for yourself. You can't serve someone from your cup if your cup is empty. And this is why there's often so many problems in relationships. Because, … Continue reading Is Self-Love Narcissistic?
“My partner isn't the same person they were when I met them.” or “How can I get my partner to change?” These are the kinds of questions we often ask. But are we not seeing the full picture? And are we focused on trying the change the wrong person? Expectations lead to disappointment, and this … Continue reading Relationship Expectations, Reality & Disappointment
There's this pervasive idea in our culture that everyone has a life purpose, but most of us aren't clear on what it is exactly. We may only feel certain that what we're currently doing isn't it. Or we may not be doing much of anything at all. We may be in that in-between place where … Continue reading What is My Life Purpose?
According to a recent survey, roughly 73% of the (U.S.) population believes in soulmates. That is, we believe there is one special person who we’re meant to be with for the rest of our lives. But more than this, we believe that this person will be our perfect match in every way. And we will … Continue reading Why You Haven’t Found Your Soulmate… and Likely Never Will
Every relationship has its challenges. And we often find ourselves overwhelmed, unable to resolve tensions, and in some cases making the situation worse. We tend think of these challenges as problems to be solved or even escaped. But in order to make any progress, it’s important to understand how these issues arise. We need to … Continue reading Insecurity in Relationships
Fear is an intense emotion which seems to rule our lives. It keeps us stuck. It influences our behavior and decisions in ways that often cause more harm than good. And often it seems unshakable. We try to manage it, to suppress it, to escape it, but it creeps back in. The problem with these … Continue reading Understanding FEAR
For many of us the spiritual path is about self-improvement. It’s about fixing those flaws in order to reach a state of perfection. We know enough about life to know that much of our thought and behavior is unhealthy and that it causes so much of our unhappiness, and so we understand that these aspects … Continue reading The Struggle of Self-Improvement
What does it mean to be secure, and is security possible? We talk about security in a number of contexts such as financial security, national security, security in relationships and so on. But what does it really mean to be secure? To secure something means to get a hold of it in such a way … Continue reading Can We Ever Find Security in Anything?
As a teenager I experienced a fair amount of heartbreak. Sometime after falling in love my partner would gradually lose interest, becoming distant and indifferent, and eventually deciding to call it off. The breakup would leave me with a sense of despair and sometimes anger. But I wanted to understand why. I wanted to know … Continue reading Illusions of Love